An example of peer reviewing

Here is a letter I wrote to a fellow classmate during a peer review activity.

Overall, I felt that your proposal created a good argument and brought up valid points to back up your statements. There are some things that I have questions about, however. In the beginning of your paper you said that “promoting smoking on campus is only hurting students.” I was just wanted to know how you feel the university is promoting smoking. If you are saying this because they are not preventing it, then I think promoting is the wrong word choice. Also, I had another simple question about some of your data. You stated how many cases of cancer existed in the United States. Are these cigarette related (lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease) or just simply cancer cases? Because that makes a difference in the quality of your evidence.
I think that you did a good job presenting your argument in the first few paragraphs. You used effective facts and statistics about the danger of smoking, not only to those smoking but also those in the same environment, especially on a college campus. I also thought that your supporting data from ACS was very well used and the overall presentation of the proposal was convincing.
You also did a good job stating a very clear, well organized solution to the problem that you talked about. The example from the Riverside Community College helped to show a potential solution in a comprehendible way. It also shows that solutions to this problem are doable and have been successfully done in other places. The only thing that might be missing from your proposal is a counterargument. I think your proposal and solution are both well stated but I just wonder what the pro-smokers might say to this proposal. It might create a controversy in areas where smokers are present in large numbers.
You did state a very clear and organized solution, yet there is more than one way to overcome this problem. Another way to get rid of this unwanted smoke is to have very strict designated smoking areas. These smoking areas could be in low traffic areas of campus so if students did not want to smell smoke they could stay clear of them. Also, instead of ticketing students for smoking on campus, campus safety or even students, could have students go to the specific areas. This would create less controversy between the smokers and non-smokers if smoking were banned. This is just a suggestion for another solution on top of the one you have already formed.
I felt that the strongest part of your paper was definitely the solution. It had cited supporting evidence of success and was very well organized and presented.